when i found out
that you were seeing somebody
it felt like the crushing weight
of the world
doubled
but what right did i have
to mourn a relationship
that was going nowhere?
we both knew we didn't
stand a chance.
i guess maybe i just liked
the idea of you
being perpetually
in love with me
but not actually being with me
and i know that's selfish
but you were the only one
who told me that you loved me
because i was a fighter

i guess this time
you'll say that to her

Sadness is my home
Claws digging into my skin
My hands the culprit

He asks me, "Why are you so afraid
Of loving me back?" And my heart
Stutters in my ribcage. "I am incapable,"
I reply, "Of gently holding your heart.
My hands only know of destruction
And either or both of us
will fall apart."