so i looked at you
and then i said hi
the voice that replied with 'hey'
froze me
and i turned around
and i saw you
i saw the wide smile
i saw the recognition
i saw the embers left within me
they sparked to life
they gave me confidence
to say what i needed
to let your spirit
embrace my soul
oh, how amazing it was
to see you again
how amazing you are
for being able to make such
a change in the world
and i know that you are
leaving soon
and it hurts my heart to know
and i wish you could know
that you will be missed
by everyone and by me
i wish you could know
how much of a change you make
how you make the world so much better
how your light touched a
dark and damp soul
and sparked a light
deep inside
how you inspired, spread joy,
love, willpower,
it takes one man to run a lighthouse
for another man to see its light
and find home
one person can save many lives
one person can bring many home
i wish you'd see how
special you are to me
how that smile reached pass the cobwebs of my heart and
deep into my soul to light a
torch to chase away the shadows
see how that torch still burns and
has me writing poems dedicated to you.

i thought you left
i had thought of you gone
thought that flickering flame
was dead
i was wrong
and for once
i hope i am wrong again
that very same wrong
again, and
again, and
again, i
hope i am always wrong about you leaving me behind
and letting that
light
die out

my heart twists
in misery and
agony and
these raw feelings
but today i realized
that the light is
still lit
flickering only a
long hallway away
yet 'tis still lit
it still survives
it's still HERE
the light did not
forsake me
not just yet
and it is that knowledge
that light
that is keeping this
dismal tide
at bay

i have no one to talk to
how lovely
the narcissist tears me to pieces

so you
tell me off
&
force me
not to eat
while you munch on your snacks
in front of my face
wow.

i feel sick
to my stomach
and the tears
won't stop flowing
im sobbing......
                            ...sobbing
                                              sobbing
                                       and
                              now
                   i feel
            so
empty

maybe this new poem
is just not
supposed to be
published.


i've tried t h r e e times now