Here on my arm lies a mark that I made.
When I was so low I cut with a blade
To punish my body for being a mess,
Though here is my testament, I must confess...

That seeing these scars left on my arms, legs and chest
Makes me realize I was in a place of no rest;
I feel guilty inside for leaving this token.
Now I will see and remember that I was so broken.

But seeing these scars helps me see
That I survived so much trauma and now I am free;
So I ask of you now to stand with me and fight,
To show all these demons what they're doing's not right,

You won the battle of good versus bad.
You are still alive and are no longer sad;
Here on my arm lies a mark of survival,
I got through my hate and beat my self-rival.

i taught you
that it is okay to treat me badly
because i always
accepted and accepted it
hoping it wouldn't happen again
but that was just showing you
that you can do it
again and again
until there was nothing left of me
and i hated
hated
myself
for teaching you to treat me
like i was nothing

I can't believe you did this to me.
To my heart.
We talked and stayed up all night chatting.
At what point did you think we couldn't talk about it?
We had talked about it before.
You were writing a book, thinking of the future.
Why?
Your last words to me were "Don't forget me"
You grabbed my wrist.
That plays over and over in my mind.
I can't eat. I can't sleep. But I can't feel either.
Why?
Just why?
You knew this would hurt me.
I can't be that mad at you though.
I know I can't blame it on you,
What else am I supposed to do?
Why did you do it?
Make yourself die?
We could have talked it over and you know it..
Made it all right.
But I'm not mad. Just disappointed.
But.
Not when I had felt the same way.
Been there, had that, tried and done that.
But gosh **** it, I miss you.
My eyes are red and swollen as well,
I had cried myself to sleep since.
You were my friend. I told you everything.
We really did have so much in common.

I am not going to **** myself
I am not going to **** myself
There is no pain
I'm okay
I am not going to **** myself
*Please don't let me **** myself