Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
My Happiness
is not
dependent upon
your approval
or availability
or if you don't like
what you see

My happiness
is not through
a job
friendship,
a marriage
or a child.
My own life is
worthwhile

My happiness
is not based
on my weight
my face
and my *******
or if I ace
all my tests

My happiness
is liking myself
as I am
and doing the best
that I can
Being grateful
for what I have
Not walking in
other people's shadows
but shining my own
special light
and doing what
I think is right
Standing up for myself
even if
that goes against
everyone else
english its all fuzzy wht in the world is better because off me
i m weak and i am a faiure there is just no  wayy getting around it/ once i am dead its as thogh i never existed / none at all ____etccetc yadda yadda yadda boom boom ......................
AS evil attempts to smother me in it's embrace, just as I slip right out of it's grasp the pain and the sorrow Im feel I don't show I mask  Hiding myself in then sinister dark that has since became a part of my very heart. I am but a vessel that's been broken I am just an empty hull all these twisted thoughts rattle around loudly inside of my skull. I have gone to a pretty place now where then flowers grow. looking for a graveyard in which I can bury my cold dark dead soul, Out of all the horrors I have ever imagined, the worst one is at least to me it seems salvation maybe absent
Does that mean that I am stuck here in this God forsaken place constantly falling so far from this side of my saving grace. I am just as cold as I am empty inside It's almost like a vital part of me has already died. Am I to be crushed underneath this weight of this pending doom or will I find a way to escape from this hell on earth soon. I am a sinner but I am not faithless yet I am still chased by these ghosts that are faceless. demons seem to be lurking in the shadows that are just as still as they are black
waiting for just the right moment to jump out and attack
Instead of trying to save me from these demons maybe someone could possibly save myself from me or at least end my suffering, stopping my pain and my misery.
I say what I mean just I mean what I say not that it matters no one listens to me anyway
I am always standing here screaming into the wind to no avail so into these worlds that are somehow parallel I tripped and fell now Im am blindly strolling in places I have never before been Hoping that somewhere maybe some good sameriatain will take me in. I have always been one to force myself to fit in places where I knew that I didn't belong At this very crossroad I have been standing for so **** long. For these restless and sleepless nights I feel I have already paid the price even with the cost so steep forever harboring all these **** secrets that I am forced to keep
i have better things to do than to sit here contemplating my own demise It's sad when my own reflection in the mirror is not one that I reconize  
I am but a lost soul that wandering about aimlessly looking for something that I seriously doubt I will ever find as I continue my journey outside the parameters of my own **** mind, I am damaged I am broken I am incomplete I am always trying my best to render this monster in me obsolete bombarded by the faces and images that seems like they just were not meant to last Time has a Way of passing by me ever so fast. Until time for me to disappear I will be sitting here blowing clouds so thick as strong I tend to smoke
pretending that I can see this life as anything more than a sick and twisted joke.
with every single breath that I take I am possibly an little bit closer to my death wonder just how many breaths that I have left.
not that it matters much for once I am dead and gone as in from this earth I did perish maybe I will finally awake from this horrible dream that is so nightmarish.

Now I lay me down to **** sleep I can sleep when I am dead should've turned the dope back into Sudafed for I may not be your foe but my friend I am fiend  I don't really know if I can be redeemed  the air has been perfumed with the sent of *** and sweat and the lingering dread over things that have not actually happened yet. I find very little comfort in rocking this **** bowl especially while spiraling so fast completely out of control. I am spitting out the pieces of my broken luck but dont get **** twisted because still in do not give a flying ****. it is what it is and it is  not what its not I hope all the dismal and dark times can somehow be forgot.  now in then tainted moonlight that shines brightly in these windows clear is anyone that is suppose to be there right now even really here. so I will climb high to get myself higher just as I have always done and will continue to do in the days to come. taking every hit straight to my head that gets so loud  hiding myself  away from the light of day in a shadow in a cloud. I am the very monster that is difficult to conquer because I am the one onen the beast accidently did conjure, So in this final episode the last crusade I pray the Lord keeps my soul before my enemies lay me in my shallow grave
So it seems that the very things that seem to make me tick are like the secrets that keep me sick. The breeze is blowing but the tide is coming in quick. You think I give a **** if you heard my lighter click. I am a perfect **** up I am ****** up perfection What can I say in the mirror I do not recognize my own reflection. Then again upon further inspection I can almost spot the deception. Why oh why did I take my day to day for granted. I feel as if there is something shady going on that's down right underhanded here in this far a way land where I am now stranded a land that they say is enchanted.
These age old habits have pretty much grown to be quite automatic I am very much still active and very much still an addict and now I just have to have it. Heart full of snow head filled with static not to be so **** dramatic but everyday life has become so problematic is it not truly tragic. This God ****** so called drug abuse has me using any and every excuse it's just like a crutch I use while waiting for these demons to turn me loose. Why am I still pursuing something that I doubt that I ever find I know that I am a little bit outside my rabbit *** mind searching for my very grand design spitting out pieces of this broken luck of mine Just don't go and get **** all twisted up because I'm telling you that I still do not give a flying ****. We don't have that kind of luxe so out here in the lightning storm like a sitting duck attempting to get thunderstruck, that is until it's time to once again. Self destruct. Twinkle twinkle little stars so far a way that I wish I might I wish I may one day actually change my ways and end up with much brighter days I see the clearest when it is the darkest part of night I'm so far left that I will never get right. I don't see with my eyes I've been gifted with a different kind of sight. Hell no what would ever make you think that I'm ok I climb high to get myself higher than the trees that back and fourth sway so I don't have to hold these demons at bay I am **** sure not the person you seem to think I protray
The pain I feel inside I do hide I masked it like somehow I had gotten passed it. Perhaps I am a little overenthusiastic over this tale I'm trying to tell that is sounding rather fantastic. No brag no fact just fabricated fiction meant to entertain I find it difficult to try to explain just how I actually maintain. Every word I wrote is explicit and profane. I just do not feel right unless I am doing something wrong like staying up all night long staring off into nothing as I hit the **** blowing out thick clouds because I tend to smoke strong Instead of feeling alive I feel like I am pretty much dead. Decency I haven't a single shred. There's already been way too much blood shed did you happen to see in the distance eyes glowing blood red? When I storm like I am about to pour down rain can you see my eyes get cloudy the music and the beat rattles around in my skull quite loudly sometimes I can't help it I have to get rowdy but still I stand my ground proudly go ahead I have no a single doubt that if you keep ******* around you will find out that I am no where close to being a girl scout I just cannot seem to go that route I am a walking talking catastrophe a natural disaster and I keep on flying faster and faster while I go crazy the night sky echoing with laughter running from the things I once was after. Ask me no more questions and no lies will I sell these stories of different worlds that are somehow parallel tales to tell of nightmares and fairy tales right as I jump my *** off of this **** carousel now I bid the a fond fare the well as right back into my yesterday I fell. Crushed underneath the weight of the pending doom that keeps any ray of light from cutting though the gloom tainted light shining in the window brightly from the neon moon I'm all animated you know drawn out like a cartoon so don't assume that the toxic fumes aren't as colorful as a peacock's plume I challenge you to a duele at high noon. I am going to find a way out of here soon. These diseased minds really did some substantial damage and now I feel as if I am at some sort of disadvantage so like a sleeping savage I have no choice but to rise up and start reeking havoc ripping the space and time continuum just like fabric. I have gone way up into the stratosphere the best way that I know to just disappear. So hold close all you hold dear and try not to cry not one more tear.
You—
you’re the snowfall I stagger into,
pure, blinding, merciless.
My breath burns black against your skin,
your lips open like a gunshot in winter.

We collide like alleyway saints,
kissing hard enough to bruise bone.
Your hands are knives wrapped in silk;
they cut me into something worth keeping.

Love, with you, is not gentle.
It’s cigarette ash and blood in the snow,
the taste of iron disguised as sweetness.
Every embrace leaves fingerprints like bruises
I wear as scripture.

We are both wolves,
both hunters,
and still we bare our throats,
voluntary victims,
devouring while we’re being devoured.

If the world came for us,
we would meet it with teeth.
Two shadows crossing,
a fairy tale told in black ink,
red accents,
and the violence of a kiss
that refuses to end.
Mercury 2d
It’s a truth that everyone around us can see
That we are not what we used to be
Is it too late to start changing?
So, we don’t have to face the problems of our making

You don’t have to speak, I already know
The look in your eyes changed a long time ago
Is the look in my eyes still the same?
Or do they reflect the bad choices we’ve made

We have become distant, detached, and cold
And your hand is becoming increasingly difficult to hold
Can we just continue to pretend that we are alright?
Maybe that way we can buy us some more time

So let’s just stand still and wait
Because we both know it’s already too late.
Next page