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Sarah M Gillihan
Poems
Dec 2014
The Bipolar Addiction
I am lost
I am numb
When I cut,
The pain…
It never comes
So I slice my skin
Watch the blood run down
My mutilated arm
I hear noises
But there is no sound
I feed the addiction
Then I go to sleep
I wake up with a jolt
I roll over and weep
I’m suddenly angry
I hate the whole world
Alone with my thoughts
Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate
I hate myself
But now I’m late
I’m skipping class
I don’t want to face
My teachers
For their eyes
Will flood with disappointment
I’m a failure
I know
I am a disappointment
I’m scared
But my fears
Are stupid
And irrational
The thought of death
I can’t even fathom
But the thought of life
It haunts me at night
What comes with tomorrow?
The light after the night
I scream in my head
My thoughts are so loud
My thoughts are so fast
I act
My feelings
Sorrow filled
Cutting again
My blood is spilled
The bipolar addiction
My feelings in a whirl
I can’t control
The monster
In this girl
I’m stuck in confusion
I’m out of my mind
I’ve lost track of time
I’m stuck on rewind
I am lost
I am numb
When I cut,
The pain…
It never comes.
#cutting
#addiction
#hate
#death
#depressed
#failure
#disappointment
#forgotten
#fears
#disgrace
Written by
Sarah M Gillihan
Fort Worth
(Fort Worth)
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Emmanuel Coker
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,
The Girl Who Loves You
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