I’m not sure why I’ve been alone all this time
things started out almost vibrant
but I’m afraid you made me lose my touch
because for the past three years I cannot feel
I am nothing but this decaying carcass

I see love flourish around me
ringing of bells, hums of holidays in the air
I stand alone
and watch flushed cheeks
herbs hung above doorways
scarves wrapped tightly around throats
but all I can feel is
what I cannot feel
the only witness
my breath that hangs in a mist

this is not an illness that haunts me
but instead the undesirable traits of my being
like icicles hanging from rooftops,
I am avoided and knocked to the ground
as shattered reminders of
something that won’t melt
something that needs to drip down the drain
but is instead frozen to the pavement
and kicked aside by somebody
with warmth flowing through
thin veins and
a naïve heart