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Nov 2014
The unique buds of magic, the wondrous feeling of scents.
I can't bare to stay here in this abyss, the abyss of isolation.
The flowerbeds grow from despair, witheringly when they finally gain,
the feeling of yesterday being poured away.
I should never have bothered with grace, graceful elegance left me behind,
I know it's impossible to do the things they proclaim, I know it's impossible,
to be the way I always see my face in the fabricated world.

Listen daughter, in the future of mine, never let these people push you behind.
Curiosity sometimes rightfully takes over your will, for I was curious too on how I live.
I never wanted you to fall down this hole, please return to me in my future arms.
I couldn't bare to see the desires I once had be wiped away from me.
Scattered like ashes, of used-to-bes, nobody deserves pure hatred,
nobody deserves to feel alone.

I know daughter of mine, when I see your hair shine in the lights of the world,
slowly forming into the explosions of used-to-be life which will be left behind, please hold me tight.
There are too many flowers in this garden, the ones who grow violently shiver those who cry, the ones who are left behind to wither into nothingness should be the ones remembered internally.
I can't hold the thought of desperation, the feelings that I wish would go away from me.
The hands that I once wanted to caresses me are now the ones I wish would bleed.

I no longer want life to be, a spiraling act of infinity.
Please.
I wrote this poem a while back and I often write poetry to instrumental meditation music or just general nice piano, violin or general beats, it helps me think better.

This is slightly inspired by poetry mostly written in the viewpoints of future selves or going back to our past selves to tell us things like "Don't give up" or "Don't do it". Nobody should feel like they deserve to lose it all and fall into an endless infinity of spinning.
Louisa Coller
Written by
Louisa Coller  26/Non-binary/England
(26/Non-binary/England)   
556
   Tyler Durden
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