I took a box
and filled it with everything that hurt me to look at
and surrounded myself only with things
that existed in a time before you

I lay in bed
every night with a clenched jaw
and try to forget every memory except those
that existed in a time before you

It's not easy
I see you and instead of smiling warmly,
running to you,
showing you that there is no part of me that could ever really hate you,
I look away
because I had to forget you along the way

The reason why you can't exist
and nothing you've touched can exist
and nothing that you said or did or sang or loved can exist
is because it took me far too long to remember
that I existed in a time before you