Sleepless nights always start the same
A shaking I can’t control
I chill all over
I know somethings wrong
It keeps me awake
Often it has the same effects
Eventually the shaking turns to rocking back and forth
Tears spring to my eyes like a soldier at attention
Late at night I can’t handle it
it ruins my efforts at being distracted from the causes
I break down
I stop what I doing and sob
as the soldier tears rappel down my cheek to my chin
and dive off the edge
Sleepless nights are the loneliest
I sit there afraid
Of losing you
Of myself
Of myself without you
I can’t bear to be without you
Losing you is the crippling fear
in the back of my mind
that keeps me lying awake at night
and on nights like these it’s the worst
it seems real
like i’ve lost you with no chance of return
Last time i had a night like this
you sent me “love you too”
i kept it on my phone to look at it to reassure myself
last night like this i looked at that message 16 times
scared that it would change
i can’t sleep on a night like this when i don’t have you
i need you more than sleep
i need you more than life
i need you more than anything