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Red
Poems
Aug 2014
how depression feels to me
its a very slow build up
almost unnoticeable
throughout the day you feel off
it seems like you're putting more effort into everything
mentally that is
everything just seems harder
it not difficult
but there isn't any will
you notice you're faking a laugh
and staring off into space
and then it'll hit you
the smallest thing triggers it
maybe breaking a plate
cancelled plans
burning your finger
but sometimes there isn't a trigger at all
it's a tsunami tide that fills your whole body
and you wish you could push the sad away
but it claws its way into your heart
and muffles your brain
nothing is connecting
and all you can focus on
is the sadness
that is overwhelming you
crippling you into a ball on your bedroom floor
shaking your body in the shower
a sadness that you didn't see coming
because
you
don't
know
why
why you can't stop crying
why you're so sad
why your brain won't just work right!!
WHY
can't I be happy?
why do I have to put an effort into being happy?
and for a second you understand suicide
because you could stop all of it
for good
#suicide
#feelings
#sad
#depression
#sadness
#hurt
#personal
#emotional
Written by
Red
WI
(WI)
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