I'm infatuated with an indulgence that is a poison for me

At times it's the best medicine 

Other times it leads to diaries of pain

It makes me gaze at the graying rain

it can cause smiles

It can make me drink awhile

I need it close

And at times I push it far away

It's warmth lets my skin roast

It makes me whisper lies and scream truths no matter what I say

It helps me live a little

And I know it kills me a little more everyday

It can cure a deadly ailment, and cause it all at once when it's done

It teeters me on the border or sober and high

Resistance and addiction

Sickness and medication

I need it want it and can live without it

What about you