Jul 2014
How could you do this to me?
Time and time again,
I trust you once more,
And I fall for your lies.
You spread your rumors once,
To try and "get me right"
But I did not listen to you,
And kept him in my sights.
You spread your rumors twice,
No more playing nice,
You took your shot at me,
But he's still by my side.
You want what you can't have,
and I have what you don't,
You have thrown your grenades,
But within is just but smoke.
You think scaring me will work,
And you can try if you're so sure,
But I have what you cannot,
And now you're oh-so sore.
You want it for one reason,
And that reason is it's mine,
But I'm okay,
Go on your way,
Without you I feel fine.
Because I have something you don't,
And I'm not trying to get a rise,
Out of you,
Because you have something too,
And that's a toxic mouth of lies.
Time and time again,
I trust you once more,
And I fall for your lies.
You spread your rumors once,
To try and "get me right"
But I did not listen to you,
And kept him in my sights.
You spread your rumors twice,
No more playing nice,
You took your shot at me,
But he's still by my side.
You want what you can't have,
and I have what you don't,
You have thrown your grenades,
But within is just but smoke.
You think scaring me will work,
And you can try if you're so sure,
But I have what you cannot,
And now you're oh-so sore.
You want it for one reason,
And that reason is it's mine,
But I'm okay,
Go on your way,
Without you I feel fine.
Because I have something you don't,
And I'm not trying to get a rise,
Out of you,
Because you have something too,
And that's a toxic mouth of lies.
Ok, so the story behind this is that I made a friend at camp, a guy (I think I'll call him Jimmy here) who was a counselor, and went to the same church as one of the girls (I'll call her Mimi) in my group of friends. I became close to Jimmy, because he learned my story, and I his, and they were so similar in a way that made us want to stay close to each other. We became accountable to one another, and so I stuck close to him physically and emotionally. Mimi pulled me aside one day, with a couple of my other friends, and they cornered me, and told me that they were going to stage an intervention, to "get me right" and keep me away from Jimmy, because he was a bad person. Had they listened to me, they would've known that everything they told me that he had done, were things I myself had done, that I knew he had done, and I knew we were both ashamed of doing. I didn't listen to them when they started spreading the rumors about his past around the camp, and we remained close throughout the weeks after camp ended. 3 weeks later, camp for the younger kids started, and my "friend" Mimi was a counselor. Now I wasn't a counselor this week, but I had a young dear friend (I'll call her Alison) who was like a baby sister to me, who was in Mimi's cabin as a camper. Now Alison was a shy girl, so she attaches to only a few people who she'll trust with her life. I told her to trust her counselors, Mimi, and another one of my friends who staged the intervention 3 weeks before. Now Mimi had no clue just how close Alison was to me, and did not watch what she said. She started telling all of the girls in her cabin that she liked a guy named Jimmy, and pointed him out to them. She told them that there were nasty rumors spread about him (not mentioning that she had spread the rumors) and that she didn't believe a word of them. She also told the girls that I had spent all of camp holding hands, and sneaking off with Jimmy, but none of it was Jimmy's fault, I had forced himself to, and pushed myself at him out of desperation. At this point my very shy friend Alison defended me, and while picking her up from camp, she let me know what had been going on. I have not, and will not confront this friend, I wrote this poem to try and let it go, although it still stings.
