I'm in love with my best friend. not the sister type of love. the love where I want her in my bed. I want to be in the most intimate parts of her life. I've seen her hurt so many times before, I just want to be the one to make it right. how do I deal with this? where do I go from here? thank god she's far away, bc it would be a done deal if she was here. I'm trying to forget these feelings. trying to push them aside but is it healthy to keep this all inside?
but I feel like **** for feeling this way bc we'll never be more than friends. I'm way in over my head for thinking something can change. it's funny bc I'm taken and I feel this way. isn't it strange that I would leave the current one just to be with her. she doesn't understand. she doesn't feel the same way, so I keep my mouth close everyday
why did I even put myself in this position? someone is going to be hurt in the end. it's probably going to be me bc I'm in love with my straight best friend.