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Nov 2020
We have been apart a week
My memory has been all but erased
Six years we lasted together
Am I so easily replaced?

It's like a punch to the stomach
Thought of your hands intertwined
Tried my best to be there for you
In return leave me behind

Part of me in denial
Can't believe this is real
A state of frozen shock
Attempting to grasp how you feel

I wish the choice was mutual
Willing emotions to change
If only I could place your heart in my chest
Give you mine in exchange

You make it look simple
For you moving on isn't hard
I am the only half affected
You clearly are not broken or scarred

How could I mean that little to you?
All that we've been through together
Promised we would start a family
You would stay forever

Now vows belong to a different girl
Robbed from my unsuspecting hands
As your misery decreases
My sorrow simultaneously expands

It hurts to breathe in
Hurts to think
And hurts to open my eyes
Not a second passes without the ache
Cannot tell sunset from sunrise

The days blur into one
Earth keeps spinning around
Whole world is shattering
No one hears the sound

I bear suffering alone
Barely speak your name
Because if I say the words out loud
Can't escape what we became

I try to distract from the emptiness
Hide in my room and get high
Remembering all the warm moments
Over and over asking why

Why was I not enough for you?
Why wouldn't you let me in?
Why does she get to have you for her own?
Questions make head spin

When I finally fall asleep
At peace for a little while
In dreams I'm in your arms again
Morning interrupts my smile

Waking is the very worst part
Faced with overwhelming void
Absence of your touch is crushing
Obstacle I cannot avoid

I hope eventually I will get stronger
Start mending wounds in soul
Until that day arrives I'll shuffle feet forward
In vain ignore the gaping hole
I wish this was a nightmare I could wake up from
Amanda Kay Burke
Written by
Amanda Kay Burke  29/F/Alaska
(29/F/Alaska)   
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   Amanda Kay Burke
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