I know it’s been too long since I’ve wrote,
But I know the words are finally free of my throat, it feels like it’s been years since I’ve put pen to paper and it shows! My arms are cut up again new burns on my nose, I swear it feels like I’m comatose. I lost feeling again and i do things I don’t mean. But I finally feel like it’s time to come clean. Yes I pop pills no it’s not for thrills, no one ever thought it was to take away my mind because the voices get louder, that way maybe I can stop using the white powder. I say I’m sorry to everyone because I feel like a failure. I swear I apologize for my moods for my behavior.
This is all **** I need to get off my chest before I go crazy and unleash the bottle. I had a gun in my mouth last night and nobody knows. its finally time im the last wilted rose. I sleep with a bottle I take my pills every day nothing helps. All I have to do is put on my mask and pretend to be ok but inside I’m withered away.
I’m just waiting for the day I overdose and take too much. I have a spouse but I can’t even feel their touch. I’m going insane help me please. Maybe my life will just freeze. No one will care.
I’m going off the wall