This morning
I cried.

I wish I could
tell you
why.

I wish I could
tell you
why
the girl
crying on my
phone screen
stabbed my heart
so violently
so blindly.

I cried.

Whether I cried
because
I believed her
her pleas
that the world
is beautiful
that
life
will always
always
be worth
it.

Whether I cried
because
I envied her
her faith
that the beauty
of the universe
makes this
*******
worth it.

Whether I cried
because
her tearful voice
reminded me
so much
of my own
that I couldn't stop
the doubt
that I've so long
hidden.

Whether I cried
because
I
wish
I could hold onto
those moments
of
faith.

I cried
because her words
her assurances
of
those sunsets
those smiles
those hazy moments
were something
that
I
wish
I could
   touch.

I cried
because
none of that
has
ever

  felt worth it.