Apr 2020
It’s not rose tinted,
Not golden hued.
The memories are barely painted by a faint yellow light.
But I was happy.
A constantly enraged state.
Your average 12-year-old girl.
There are some comments about dinosaurs I'd rather forget.
But I was happy.
Impressively impetuous teenager
Occasional spoiled brat
With a brain too old for my body and those around me.
But I was happy.
I felt all alone.
But in reality, I had you.
You with your happy, smiling annoying life.
But I was happy.
I was stressed
Confused and angry.
Filled with new emotions that I didn’t like.
But I was happy.
Now deep and painful emotions
Are imbedded into my personality.
You'd think I'd have always been this way, this sorrowful.
But I was happy.
Of course, it wasn’t perfect
Sometimes it wasn’t even good.
I used to scream about hating something I'd love to have now.
Because I was happy.
Not golden hued.
The memories are barely painted by a faint yellow light.
But I was happy.
A constantly enraged state.
Your average 12-year-old girl.
There are some comments about dinosaurs I'd rather forget.
But I was happy.
Impressively impetuous teenager
Occasional spoiled brat
With a brain too old for my body and those around me.
But I was happy.
I felt all alone.
But in reality, I had you.
You with your happy, smiling annoying life.
But I was happy.
I was stressed
Confused and angry.
Filled with new emotions that I didn’t like.
But I was happy.
Now deep and painful emotions
Are imbedded into my personality.
You'd think I'd have always been this way, this sorrowful.
But I was happy.
Of course, it wasn’t perfect
Sometimes it wasn’t even good.
I used to scream about hating something I'd love to have now.
Because I was happy.
Sometimes a bad past is better then a worse present. Not all aspects of my childhood and early teenage years were good but they certainly were better than things that have transpired in recent years. This poem is addressed to my brother, who passed away a few years ago. His death changed every single part of my life and my personality and looking back I would do anything to return to those times despite their unpleasant nature. Let me know if you can relate to the feeling.
