I see you Staggering Your breath smells like a bar
I rush to your side You push me away You don’t want help
Your wasted lips Clumsily dumping words “I’m fine... I’m good... I’m great...” They slur You stumble
I steady you gently I sit you down I gaze into your drooping eyes
“I know you’re in pain But, my darling, This’ll only make it worse I see you I see your suffering You’re not alone Don’t run from your grief You’ll never outrun yourself No matter how many Memories you drown”
You stare me dead in the eyes
“I’m not running.
I’m just numbing the pain
Until it puts me in the grave.”
And then I fear I’ve lost you, My love.
I seem to have some destructive and suicidal fantasies. Perhaps writing them will help ease their grasp on me.