I’m 15
I lie more then periodically
I hate my family
I don’t care
if your great grandma is also Swedish
I like attention
Every time I swim I scream
underwater til my throat gets raw
I wanted to die before
I learned what *** was
It’s easier to starve myself than love myself
I think I could be pretty
I wonder what it’s like to trust someone enough to let them hold you
I want to let someone hold me
I’m afraid of my mind most nights
I want to go to college but
I am scared
of leaving high school
My parents expectations are the only thing preventing me from dying
I’ve been to a psych ward
and mistook it for  home
I miss when my family used to have harmony
I think I’m underwater
Since it feels like no one can hear me
I miss when lies were only about sneaking an extra mint
I want to live but anxiety fogs my future
I don’t want to be 15
I’m sorry for saying what I mean