nobody hates me more than She does.
though She knows the complexities of me,
thoughts, loves, ambitions, insecurities.
She's seen me naked; physical skin, down to what lies beneath my bones.
She's made me think:
that putting a knife to my own skin to make this pain go away indefinitely, is the only way to escape
She's coaxed me into drinking poison, to lay with men who don't care to know my name.
She is the most hurtful voice in my own head.
it seems these days She only wants to see me lifeless, so She can wrap a warm blanket around me and whisper "I told you so"

but maybe one day, She will learn to love (herself).
learn to forgive the pain she's caused others (and herself)
because i am all She has.