What makes you feel lonely, lost in a dark place? What is making you feel trapped, that you feel you can't escape?  What is it you don't have, that you feel that you need? Or is everything okay, you just feel you can't breathe?
Is it worth the pain & guilt it brings you in the end?  We all love you, not that awful friend, pushing all this evilness into your head.
How long does it make you happy& feel free from the pain?
Is that what it is, pain that your dealing with?
what is causing you to do this? All my questions, forever unanswered.  Maybe one day they'll be heard. Youll have a clear mind & the answers to them all.