they don’t know. they don’t know. I tell myself over and over and over. it’s impossible, purely impossible, for one to know my thoughts. they cannot see me, they cannot know, so why is it I hesitate. this feeling of paranoia, so strong it drives me to insanity, bedevils me even now. I will myself to persuade my mind that truly they do not know, cannot know, will not know. I tremble in the moment, the ones that debilitate me, leave me questioning my own reality. it feels that they’re inside my head, beckoning me...taunting me. but I tell myself no, no, no way in **** can they know. for surely it is not possible, for them to see me. so why do these anxieties plague me, over things I know they cannot know.