Oct 2018
I'm better today than I have been
But I can't expect it again to happen
Lately it's been worse than it has in a while
But I know it's just my faith under trial
I've been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
But I won't let the ocean pull me asunder
Gravestones won't burry me and take me under
In time I know I'll recover
Recently I've been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I've chosen it
Or if I can choose not to think this way--
How to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can't choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way,
The feeling won't stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though I know I'm so far from home
For now, I am fighting to reach the morning light
One day, I know, I will leave behind this night
But I can't expect it again to happen
Lately it's been worse than it has in a while
But I know it's just my faith under trial
I've been tested like a ship at sea
The winds and the waves have come to suit me
But I won't let the ocean pull me asunder
Gravestones won't burry me and take me under
In time I know I'll recover
Recently I've been worse than I usually am
I wonder if I've chosen it
Or if I can choose not to think this way--
How to undo it if I can
I know the night will come again
But to play a part in the dark will not happen
I can't choose every moment to live in the day
Even if I tell myself to think that way,
The feeling won't stay
One day I will get over this wall of stone
Though I know I'm so far from home
For now, I am fighting to reach the morning light
One day, I know, I will leave behind this night
I don't think we can just choose not to be sad. I believe you can be depressed and still have joy. I believe you can be joyful and still be suicidal. You can know God's truth, but that won't chage what's in your head. But in time, it will. Through continual trust in obedience, surrendering your faith to God day by day, things will get better. It'll be rough, it'll be a daily battle, but we have a hope, a promise that Christ has overcome the struggles of this world, and He will get you through. He has a life planned out for you, a good, pleasing, and perfect plan for your life. As long as you continue to fight, things will get better :) I promise!
