I wish it was easy,
reaching out,
but it's a struggle.
Every day
so lonely,
isolated.
I don't know what to do.

But I have to keep trying
even though I know
I will find myself here again.
Neverending isolation.
Is it me?

Day after day
unimportant chatter.
Smartphones in my way,
fear in my heart.

The armor comes off
ever so slowly.
Painful insecurity.
Fear of being left behind
without defense.

Though all I wish for
is to lie in your arms
and for you to lie in mine
completely bare,
all our vulnerability
on display.
We hold on to each other
fearing the moment we'll break apart,
but trusting it will never come.

I know we're on the way there,
though I have to confess
sometimes I still find myself
feeling isolated and lonely,
like now.

I'm trying to deal with it
but it hurts so bad.
Still I want you to know
it's not your fault,
you couldn't be more wonderful.
Maybe something is broken inside,
maybe it's just me.

Sometimes I just long for an embrace.
I crave a hand caressing my face.
Sometimes I wish
someone would tell me
I'm beautiful,
I'm intriguing.
It makes me feel so fragile,
but I don't want to be seen as fragile,
it hurts when people see me that way,
for its not all that I am.
I want to be strong in my fragility,
I want to be seen for who I really am.

But i promise to not shut myself off
no matter how hard it may be.
I will try to keep reaching out.
I know it will be painful sometimes,
sometimes i'll still feel isolated,
sometimes i'll feel misunderstood,
but i'll keep trying,
for you,
and most importantly myself.