Don't tell me what you learned in school was useless
because every day you:
count the number of likes you got on your selfie to figure out the value of your beauty,
write perfectly formed tweets to exude creativity and wit you wish you actually possessed,
read status updates from former friends who always seem to be doing something exciting,
become curious about the lives of people you've never met, and
question why you waste your time comparing yourself to carefully crafted personalities that exist only for Internet audiences they would otherwise be too afraid to address.
Don't tell me what you learned in school was useless.