I miss you
More than honestly I ever thought I would
I remember the nights like they were yesterday
And I wish they were
I remember when we’d speed down the street
Brown, paper bags in our laps
The distinct smell of a good burger
Draping the air as we headed into the sunset
We’d stop and get a movie
Something cheesy, stupid looking
We’d want something to laugh at
Through our unconventional humor
And we’d drink away our troubles
Maybe that’s where we went wrong
But I still remember you, brother
In the place that you belong.

You left one day, to pursue the ocean
I smiled because you would no longer
Be so lonely.
I was the only thing you had here.
On the beach, you’d have family
You’d have people
To make you not feel so empty
And you could carry a case
Of that stout you liked so much
And drink it as the waves
Washed away your troubles.
I hoped luck might find you
But she’s a two-faced dancer
Where did things go wrong?
I wish I had the answer.

Instead of luck
Dancing with you
Maybe making some love
With your lonely heart
She bit your neck
Until you bled out onto that
Cheap carpet in your
Apartment bedroom
And the loneliness and the depression
All came out with the drugs
And when I got that call
About my friend
Who despite me not getting around
To calling in a few months
Considered me close enough
To have as his emergency contact
Died one morning
How he felt such pain in his heart
He decided to blow it up
Explode the pain and alcoholism
Everywhere
Until the pages of those comics we’d read
Were stained in a coat of tears
That I’d cry from grief.

I kept wanting to write you
Some kind of letter
Even though I knew you’d never get it
I typed and erased so many texts
My fingers got tired
And my brain weakened
From this new found pain that I had never felt
Losing you has made my soul melt
And the only thing I hope
Is that somewhere you are out there
In the afterlife I don’t believe in
Drinking your ale
With the last sunset we never watched.