I want to leave, to run away. I want the sun on a brand new day.
See this life I live, its not me at all, almost like its not Autumn  but instead its Fall. Falling down to the dark abyss, not like Alice more like constant darkness. I love him, with all of my heart, but I'm not in love, I cannot be, because how can I love him that way but not me? I have this problem, with finding myself. Who am I, but another story on a shelf?
I search for me, relentlessly but to no avail, its a dead end trail. I dont know where to start, or where to go, but deep down inside I just know.
Its not fair to him or me, this life we've built is misery, and I tell him this and he rolls his eyes, but I'm certain he knows this too deep down inside.
Even still its not fair to us, for us to stay, I'd be better off far away, but how can I leave him if he thinks he's happy, how do I go while still leaving him me?