Struggling to be myself, When they expect me to be something else. I don’t want to change, find a new story to tell. I could love you if you would just let me be myself.
Cannabis has killed my mind and my dreams; I smoked it so that I could see, But because I smoked it I have lost my every hope And any memory of any of my dreams.
I find it hard to comprehend, all the stupid things I have ever said. I try to cover up the dirt stains I have left, but they can still be seen. Still they expect me to get up and out of bed; Why should I try, when trying never did anything for me?
Old memories still linger in my eyes; I can see them now, I can see that life. I can see it all just floating away in a puff of smoke; Ah the good old days sure were good, but I had to let them go.
I still have the same indifference, but something shifted. Reality drifted and I was falling, when I should have been lifted. Great expectations and hopes for a future, Left to go to pieces; apathy left me laying in a stupor.
Now real life kicks in, the ash in tossed into the bin; It’s the same old me on a different day, But I don’t know where to begin. I could tell you of now or of when I was a kid, But they never expected anything from me then, So why should I care about something that I never did?
No expectations, just instructions; Self-destruction was my only way to function. Brain malfunction, funny to me now; I lost my way without direction, But in my future I want to take a bow.
So I fall in line, I have done my time; I have followed their rules and still this home is not mine. Everybody expects me to try my best, But I expect nothing more, than the least I have to give, my friends.