Expectations


Struggling to be myself,
When they expect me to be something else.
I don’t want to change, find a new story to tell.
I could love you if you would just let me be myself.


Cannabis has killed my mind and my dreams;
I smoked it so that I could see,
But because I smoked it I have lost my every hope
And any memory of any of my dreams.


I find it hard to comprehend, all the stupid things I have ever said.
I try to cover up the dirt stains I have left, but they can still be seen.
Still they expect me to get up and out of bed;
Why should I try, when trying never did anything for me?


Old memories still linger in my eyes;
I can see them now, I can see that life.
I can see it all just floating away in a puff of smoke;
Ah the good old days sure were good, but I had to let them go.


I still have the same indifference, but something shifted.
Reality drifted and I was falling, when I should have been lifted.
Great expectations and hopes for a future,
Left to go to pieces; apathy left me laying in a stupor.


Now real life kicks in, the ash in tossed into the bin;
It’s the same old me on a different day,
But I don’t know where to begin.
I could tell you of now or of when I was a kid,
But they never expected anything from me then,
So why should I care about something that I never did?


No expectations, just instructions;
Self-destruction was my only way to function.
Brain malfunction, funny to me now;
I lost my way without direction,
But in my future I want to take a bow.


So I fall in line, I have done my time;
I have followed their rules and still this home is not mine.
Everybody expects me to try my best,
But I expect nothing more, than the least I have to give, my friends.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.