I knew in that moment that I must run out into the darkness and find a way that even the streetlights avoid. Find a place with no roads where flowers of new season will hide my unsure steps. I knew I had to run away Or I will never be the same. So that I donβt loose everything I (almost) have. I must run back to that house in wilderness that I left behind, to the life I left behind. So that there are no more graves of my loved ones with my name as the murderer engraved.