Jun 2018
wish i never did that.
****.
i thought the words
“i love you”
were for me?
your someone special?
why am i seeing messages
where you just
throw it away
to the next guy who says it back to you
and is available?
is it because i haven’t said it to you yet?
is it because i’m not worth the entirety of your time?
is it because you think i’m doing the same thing as you?
what am i supposed to do?
should i ask you if what you have with this guy is more special than this?
it’s not okay to lie.
tell me if i bore you.
tell me if i fall short the love you deserve.
tell me if you feel like you’re grasping at straws trying to love me.
tell me.
because if you don’t,
i’ll keep this within me.
it’ll start off small.
it’ll slowly boil.
it’ll eat every emotion i receive from you
and release it as doubt, uncertainty.
when the time comes,
when you feel like i’ll finally say
“i love you”
you’ll hear these words instead,
“i hate you”
****.
i thought the words
“i love you”
were for me?
your someone special?
why am i seeing messages
where you just
throw it away
to the next guy who says it back to you
and is available?
is it because i haven’t said it to you yet?
is it because i’m not worth the entirety of your time?
is it because you think i’m doing the same thing as you?
what am i supposed to do?
should i ask you if what you have with this guy is more special than this?
it’s not okay to lie.
tell me if i bore you.
tell me if i fall short the love you deserve.
tell me if you feel like you’re grasping at straws trying to love me.
tell me.
because if you don’t,
i’ll keep this within me.
it’ll start off small.
it’ll slowly boil.
it’ll eat every emotion i receive from you
and release it as doubt, uncertainty.
when the time comes,
when you feel like i’ll finally say
“i love you”
you’ll hear these words instead,
“i hate you”
i’m an overthinker and because of that i do things just to calm myself.
now i feel like i did something that i would regret.
i opened the messages and saw that my beloved is talking to someone else.
i asked him before if they were over. and he said they were.
i even told him, since we’re only dating, it’s okay for you to date other people since we’re just dating and you are entitled to choose.
but eveything’s different now, we’re exclusive.
i asked him last night if they were over. if he had discussed it over with the guy and he said yes.
i’m not jealous. i’m just mad that he would lie to me.
should i talk to him about it?
now i feel like i did something that i would regret.
i opened the messages and saw that my beloved is talking to someone else.
i asked him before if they were over. and he said they were.
i even told him, since we’re only dating, it’s okay for you to date other people since we’re just dating and you are entitled to choose.
but eveything’s different now, we’re exclusive.
i asked him last night if they were over. if he had discussed it over with the guy and he said yes.
i’m not jealous. i’m just mad that he would lie to me.
should i talk to him about it?
