When I first moved to Seattle at age 21,

I had a vision.

My reasoning to recreate myself.

A longing to be an independent woman,

far away from my Father.

Thought I would change into this "glorious" being.

Ironically enough, I didn't change,

in fact, I became even worse off.



Didn't love anyone but me,

barely had much leftover for my family.

10 years later,

I am sitting here writing a story of 10 years wasted & drugged.

No solace just plenty of malice.



Found tons of photos in Dropbox tonight.

Stayed up all night so I could delete over 1,000.

By the time morning came,

the pictures left me depleted.

Along with people I've slept with & people I've met along the way.



Does this sound familiar to you?

Can you relate?

How many hearts I've broken,

now I include mine.

Even displayed the third eye in most of the photos.

Can't say I've reached the state of enlightenment.

There wasn't a time when I didn't have a drink or smoke on hand.



A plethora of vanity,

with no sanity sight.

I've pressed delete many times,

and still,

they'll always be stamped pressed in my mind.

Long lost memories.

Now please,

ask yourself how deep have you or will you continue to bury it?

This proved to myself how much I loathe who I used to be.



Externally I may have look happy & healthy.

Internally I was dying from all the mischief.

I believe it started at the age of 12 when I lost my Mother.

With no compassion for others.



WAKE UP!

Ladies & gentlemen,

time flies,

don't let Snapchat lie to you.

You aren't getting any younger,

you could just be getting uglier.

Take it from me,

there is no freedom in social media.

Just more demons,

when we really need more of Jesus.