I am standing beside you
Heart resting in outstretched hand
Hoping you will take it
Use it to try and understand

I do not know why I hurt the ones
My arms care about the most
Maybe it is the ocean
Of paper insecurity I host

I have many loud problems
Make numerous unerasable mistakes
Cause more damage than flexible ripples
Shown from angry earthquakes

I know that "I am sorry"
Does not change what I've done
Or fix the childish horror you feel
This grave guilt weighs a ton

I am so used to ******* up
Destroying parts of my life that are good
That I have convinced my mind
I will not change and never could

I set limitations for my abilities
And cannot seem to find a way around
I stay in the same dark place
The self-loathing to which I am bound

You do your best to rescue me
Nothing works for more than awhile
When my pleasure and excitement fade away
You are back to coaxing out my smile

I appreciate your full efforts
They help my behavior more than I show
I hate the impatient look of frustration
You wear with concern when I am especially low

It is not that you don't make me happy
Neglect my emotional needs
There is a **** inside my obnoxious head
It is small but constantly bleeds

It leaks doubts into my brain
Until I question my quiet worth
Leads me to believe that the world
Is better without my memory on Earth

I am aware you think I'm amazing
It makes me like myself less
To watch you give, yet expect nothing in return
Pour your perfect heart into an unworthy mess

I may be what you desire, but not what you deserve
I am reckless, you should be with someone more stable
I am stuck in my ways, trying to grow
Mature and strong but I am unable