today i feel like velvet. forest green velvet, to be exact. today i flow like a waterfall of jazz notes, a crescendo over a tuxedo piano. my soul feels soft; slinky, too, like it could melt with anyone and create something beautiful. today i taste like salt, mostly because tears are sliding down the back of my throat and my eyes are the Dead Sea and oh god, you actually thought i was sugar, didn't you? today i am a nightmare, robed in a lacy white dress and stuck under a peach sky. i'm sure you'll tell me i look beautiful. would you say the same if you knew i wrote about you? today i am the ink of a ballpoint pen... i'm sure you know what it's like to doodle calligraphy on the corner of your math homework when suddenly and ink blot appears where the last letter of my name should be. well, that's me. everything is perfect-- until it's not. today i am beautiful trauma. try to hold me down. i dare you.