I'm insatiable
I'm also soo fragile
with a uniqueness all my own,
I am not superficial and yet the contradiction would be paying bills on time and having material things matters to me,
I have a vibrant will plus my spirits
strong too,
I love hard and fierce
I have ambitious desires wants needs and goals,
I'm anxious and have this deep longing,
an unquenchable thirst almost obsession like to express who
I truly am
yet
I'm
frighten ..
I want to be held yet don't always like being touched ,
I want conversation yet like the peace of quite,
I want to go out yet being in public scares me sometimes.
Somethings make me shy even if I've done em plenty of times,
Sometimes
I wanna eat out instead I'll cook and then eat in bed,
I no longer wish to be a pet owner but no one will take care my half blind and semi deaf dog like me or any of the other 3
Who
like me have social anxiety,
I like my independence
but the
contradiction here is
I also
love being clingy
I like kissing
yet rarely do and
when I do so I don't give my all, I want to learn knew moves yet feel I know enough.
I'm expressionistic; it may not be a word but it's the best way to describe me
I want rough
***
but doubt I can go for hours
may not even last minutes
I also want to go slow ant take my time
learn something as I've previously said.
I want gentle strong hands to keep me safe in their protectiveness
Let me be free in my mix of independence & clingy
Accept me
my tormented brokenness
&
all my imperfections
I want to be more than why I am now and like most
I'M scared of changed
the scars
Run Deep
deep into my bones
Borne Into My Soul
meshing and mending into my heart
Even deep groves soaked into my broken pieces
like craving
deep into wood
deeper still to my roots
I want someone else to come do the work and fix me
Heal me
but knowing my journey
would make full grown men
run away
I face this on my own.
I know I have to fix myself and heal
but who ever said
I'd have to do it
Alone?