it’s 2:15 am and I don’t really know where to go you are asleep on the other end of the line it’s been a while since what we said felt like it mattered because now we are all about the hollow spaces
I can hear the cars passing by outside and I keep thinking of how we used to be in cars going to each other but now even if you aren’t that far from home I know that it will be a long time before I can reach you again
fissures on the surface of my soul are you afraid that you will break me? rope burns and bleeding hands are you afraid that I will let go?
sometimes I think of the very first time you smiled at me there was no way that you could have known of the rains that I could bring into your days of the imminent destruction I could bring
and yet you held me like all of the hope in the world was within me you loved me as if everything would really be okay but it’s 2:30 now and I know that you’re not going to stay and how can I blame you when all along we have been in ruins? but for now I want to drown in yesterday thinking of how we painted colors into our own sky remembering what it felt to have the stars to ourselves knowing that the hours with you were never hours I lost
my thoughts will scratch my mind raw, this I know you were a boy of the flower fields and the moonlight and of late-night words and all I am is a girl who is haunted by her own musings your light does not need my shadow