I want to speak
I want to say hello
I want to say I love you and I always have
I want to tell you I keep going in hopes that one day
I might really know you
I want to tell you how even though you are human,
Somehow, you are perfection
I want to say I'll be there for you when no one else is
I'd love to tell you death is a small price to pay
To see you smile

But instead I tell you nothing at all
Because my voice,
My voice is a toxin
That freezes hearts
And when I speak
The toxin pierces my lips
And I am helpless to stop it

It wouldn't matter what I'd say
My voice would stab you as if it were a knife
And it would leave permanent scars

My voice would stain you with
All of the horrors that are me

So I'll keep those words to myself
And pray that you'll find someone
That can make you
Smile