And I don't know why
But over and over
I've watched this show

Yet over and over
I never get tired of it

I know the jokes

I know when they're coming

But that doesn't stop me
From loving every minute

And call me crazy
But I almost wish
I could be like that

Acting

Acting like I'm so close
To everyone around

Acting like I always know
Exactly what to say

Acting like the bad
Gets better before the end
Of a thirty minute show

And I really want you
To see that I
Am thinking
About how

If I
Could only

Act
Like them

I could act
Like we were more
Than what we are

And I could act
That when I've had a bad day
I don't need a hug
To tell me it's okay

But I can't promise that to myself

Because I think I can act
I've always wanted to act

I want to be an actress

I want people
To remember my name

I want to be
That actress
That little girls
And even boys
Everywhere
See

And they want to be

Just

Like

Me

But I know
That I can't brush everything aside
To make room for a mirage
That everyone sees
But me

Inside
I know
That's all I am
When I act

A mirage
That I can't see

But there is still
That spark
That burns through the night
That tells me to act
To smile
And laugh
Like everything is peachy

So I wave
I smile
I grin a lot
And beg myself to act

And even though
I want to know
If I can make it or not
I'll never

No never

Let my dream rot
And
I'll never

No never

Act like everything
Is A-okay
Because it's not

Sometimes

And I'm rambling
I just want to tell you
At this hour of night
You were on my mind
And I missed you

So when the couple onscreen
Made up
And kissed
And hugged
And cheered

I just wished that was us

And in my rambling mind
I acted like
It really was us
Because that's how much
I want you
Even more
Than I want
To care for myself

Because I'm secondary
Sedentary
Sidelined
...
Sad

A sad girl
Who looks at a screen
And dreams of tomorrow

Hoping I can be
And we can be
And I won't need
To

Act

Anymore