but isn't the real tragedy that I found myself within you as you briefly gazed into the mirror that is me and walked away isn't the real tragedy that I have become a vise of borrowed space a gap to be filled by hands I have reached for in the dark that I have misplaced my emptiness for loneliness and in return lost count of the bodies I have slipped into like old coats trying to find the one that shapes me into the woman I was before you left my bones may be empty but my fists are full of the laughter of native ghosts mocking me for holding onto a love less real than they are isn't the real tragedy that I can't place the nights I have attempted to answer my question of grief with *** a wreckage of ash perading as anguish but isn't that love not seeing the explosion when you are the bomb isn't the real tragedy that I am alive purely by luck at this point that I am nothing more than a decorated shipwreck *an obituary my very own ceremony