i’ll keep his brand,
just because it’s cheaper,
but i’m going back to reds.
i used to hate menthols
and i grew to like them
as i grew to like him;
the mint coated my mouth
and made it feel as though
the smoke was his breath
at the times he wasn’t with me.
i don’t want to remember him
every time i light a cigarette.

i need to find new music
because all I’ve been listening to
has been reminding me of him.
i’ve been crying when
i can hear him singing along.
i even carved hearts into my skin
when crying stopped being cathartic.

i’m tired of everything i do
being connected to him,
so i’m going back to reds.