I've been taking hormones for right around three years now, and I know it isn't long in contrast to the length of adventures others have had, but I'd like to describe what it's been like here on this side. I haven't made many other queer friends as I have this fearful feeling of dread that my inclusion into the community depends on the dedication I commit to being a walking means to the end society has deemed fit the only end in store for me. Folk like me, I think -- imagine at least -- get their breadth of emotion choked in the fall between spokes of the wheel. I retain, that within the other is another other, deeper still beneath the tired paradigms, mired lower in pain and shame til the next.