I hate you here
I hate you there
I wish not to hate
because I am not one to hate,
but I think about you
way too much
for someone that no longer cares

I think how you were,
the things you asked of me

The things that were said,
the things you screamed,
the pain you charged at me

I still walk by that picnic table
and think of that night
you chased me down
when I wanted to leave

I still look at that park
and think of those nights
full of tears and anguish

The stars we walked under,
barely visible
as if even they knew,
the end was near
the moon shined down a perfect light
for our shadows to leap on

I still drive by that path we walked,
the time you told me things you've
not admitted to others before me

I remember thinking then
that you were a complete mess,
and not mine to fix,
but still,
it was so very hard to let go

It still is,
and after the time that has gone by
I saw your car just the other day
It just set me ablaze

You ruined so many things for me,
you laid out these lies
that I was supposed to trust
you laid out your fear,
your anger
that you held onto deeply
the past,
ours and yours
it rang inside of you like a bell
billowing out like a nuclear blast

I wasn't sure of you at first,
you were adamant
you were misleading
you were comforting,
but the things you became
riveted me in such a way
that I haven't been able to overcome

I'm guilty of a lot things,
but with you I was better

I needed time to become that way
I needed time to heal from the loss I had before you

I wasn't given that time,
and we see the results now

We see the results of two people,
claiming honesty
and getting lies