My eyes are burning
And my *** needs some space
This kid is staring at me
He has a big grin on his face
For 6 hours he's been awake
Bouncing around on three seats
It almost seems like someone
Has given him **** to eat
I stuff myself with pills
To try to get some sleep
But the kid is keeping me up
So soon I'll make him weep
I will whisper in his ear
That santa isn't real
And I'll describe to him
How chicken-pox will make him feel
I'll tell him about the dentist
How bad it hurts to drill
And how much he'll have to work
To be able to pay his bills
How hard it is to get a girl
How expensive a driving lesson is
The statistics of failing marriages
And how you can get ****** from a kiss
I'll tell him all of this and more
If he doesn't sit down and shut up
And if he still won't calm down
I'll show him *******