i don't like myself the way i look, the way i think the way i was made, i don't like it. i wish i wasn't lazy so i could make this poem more appealing i wish i could conjure metaphors and poetry would come bursting naturally out of me. i wish i could reach that cupboard without standing on my toes. i wish i could be one with my words and i could write about the way i feel. i wish i wasn't so dependent on people's praises and i wish that statistics wasn't my only form of self-validation. i'm always waiting for the day where i'll wake up living the life i dreamed about last night. i wish my body was just like theirs you can say that my body is unique but i don't care i don't want unique, i want pretty. i wish i could pull a poker-face without being self-conscious of what i look like. i wish i could walk without thinking that i was the center of the universe that all eyes are cameras pointed at me waiting for me to stumble & fall. i wish i didn't have to delete the past attempts of composing this poem again and again. i wish the voices in my head isn't my lullaby and my alarm clock. i wish i didn't fear falling down the reject hole i wish art would radiate outside my skin i wish i don't beat myself for every time i restart this poem and i hope after this last line, i never have to.
inspired by savannah brown's "i wish: a flaw examination" video on youtube & along with other videos alike x