I've stopped the writing,
this method of fighting.
The things that kept it at bay
Have all turned to gray.
Thoughts reign over my head,
Things that I never would've said.
Death lurks in the corners of my mind,
I thought I'd left this behind.
But no, I've descended again
Into this chaos, misery and pain.
The ones I love have come with me.
I brought them down when they were free.
Now, my love, you deserve far more.
I'm weak, the very thing against which I swore.
Weak, crumbling, and broken,
My love, the depth of my pain is unspoken.
So I will do as you do
And as much as I hate to,
I will find serenity in this bittersweet hell.
Of this pain I will never tell.
So in the end,
To you, my love, my best friend,
And to the part of myself that I lost,
*I'm sorry