Red flashes and white
Black spots and no air
Fear of myself and fear of drowning
Time and experience are a snare

I am hydrophobic
So instead I love fire
A hatred and fear born for water
But fire and smoke guides me clear

I fear my own anger
I fear my own strength
I fear being helpless
More fears among my ranks

I fear giving up
I fear losing friends
I fear so many minor things
And the pain doesn't end

I hate all my mistakes
So in turn I hate myself
I guide it inward so that I can
Lend help to anyone else

I hate to hurt but I hurt myself
I still hate that I do this
But if I'm not hurting others
It must be good, if anger like mist

Clouds my mind rather than my vision
So that I envision terrible things
If no-one is there, it's aimed at me
So clear and vivid, unlike a dream

I picture the pain, or perhaps the death
And when I do, I'm short of breath
I talk to myself, oh maniac I am
But at least I can connect it to where it began