I look past my reflection in the mirror; whale-sized thighs, and arms too big for the oceans rain pours down like sharp daggers into my flesh, and I’m tired teeth hurt, and I’m tired heart pounding, and I’m tired my mermaid waves leave my head like an old porcelain doll, dying and I’m tired I teach my body how to stop needing, in with the calories, and I’m tired out with the calories, and I’m really tired silent screams echo at the fake reflection that stares blindly through the broken mirrors **** me up, I’m seeing stars tonight bones aching, and I’m smiling bullets to the head, and I’m smiling painstakingly dancing through the night till I’m void of nothing, they say empty is beautiful, and I want so dearly to feel beautiful calories scattered on the floor, like the those scattered thoughts of everything I used to be and everything I am now scatterbrain, tell me how you feel when your insides are void of self-love you eat hatred for breakfast and spit self-pity into your toilet tell me again, silly girl, do you feel beautiful now?