you were real and lifelike
but you were never actually here
and when i touched you,
i was just touching air
no wonder it always felt so cold
skin deep into my bones
i met you inside of my head
you never actually left
i lied to myself and kept you by my side
the unloving nights when i went to bed with a knife
but your hand never strayed from mine
simply said,
'stay'
yet you could never stay
because you were never here
lived inside of my mind
i wanted you lifelike, touchable, so badly that i
i now know i was merely pretending
you never existed
i wanted you to love that tenderly
you couldn't