I'm tired of pain.
I'm tired of waking up every morning think the same thing.
     "Will I do it today?"
     "What if I did do it today?"
     "No one would notice anyway."
I'm tired of missing the pain.
      I don't want the pain of a blade anymore.
      I don't want to miss /him/ but I do. I miss the pain he gave me.

I'm tired of remembering. Remembering why /he/ hit me. Why /he/ yelled at me. Why /he/ didn't love me.

I'm tired of fighting. All my life I've been fighting for myself and I no longer have the strength. I was never meant to fight on my own.

But yet... After all this...

I won't give up. Not until this feeling of being so tired is over.
I can't just quit...
Maybe one day.... It'll all be okay.