Sweat swallows my skin
Pain in my chest has burned for ten minutes straight
I cannot stop
One more
One more
One more
always one more sit up
Throw up one more time
Skip one more meal
I have loved boys with ******* addictions and girls who didn't even have the intention of remembering my name let alone be my friend
Yet, I still can't learn to love my body
As I look in the mirror
Salt soaked tears flow down my face
I pull at my skin like maybe if I pull hard enough it'll rip off
My brain is bashing against the side of my heads crying and screaming and begging me to stop
The same head tells me
I'm too heavy
Too big
Too wide
Too this
Too that
let me just say I'm ******* sick of being "too"
I'm ready to gain back my years I lost to calories
Gain back the hours of sleep I lost thinking about how much I ate
Gain back all the times I put myself down just to lose one more pound
I don't know how
But I'm through living in a world of "too"s and "one more"s