i am not that girl
what i mean is i am not that girl for you
i am not the girl that has to continuously giggle into her palms instead of telling you how she really feels, leading you on and fully engaging into the game you play so disturbingly well
i am not the girl who could willingly grasp your hand on a beach in the summer, reminding everyone, including you of how much i genuinely love you, knowing oh so subconsciously that the love i feel is completely unrequited
and i am not the girl who could roll over next to you in bed on a groggy Sunday morning just to look into your stone-cold eyes and say

'i will love you forever'

i am not that girl
what i mean is i am not that girl for you, and i can never be
because in ten years
when you reach your everlasting adult arms towards the blue sky wondering why i am no longer in your life i want you know that everything we had was never real
and i was never truly capable of whole-heardedly loving you

and i am not that girl
at least not anymore